My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We left an ass print on the piano.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
