Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
