Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
