My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
