Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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