I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize