rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
