i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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