So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
