so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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