we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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