Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
