So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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