the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
