I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
