Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
