Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
