Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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