White coat. Heels.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
why didn't you poke me back
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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