Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
