She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
