Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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