playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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