I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
