Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
