next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My vagina just clenched in fear
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
