I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
