You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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