..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
