Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
