My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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