Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
