Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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