How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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