With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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