I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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