awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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