i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
