Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
