That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
