im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
