friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
