Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
