I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
