Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
