do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
please don't ironically join a cult
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
