he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
