Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
