You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think I won the penis lottery.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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