Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
