Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
