Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
