Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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