he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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