thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize