your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
