Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
then he tried to convert me to islam
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
