Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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