If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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