i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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