Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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