You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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