we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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