if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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