he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
