My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
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