So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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