I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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